It’s that time of year again. Another E3 is in the books and it’s time to look back and see how we did with our predictions. This year’s big winner was obviously Microsoft. Launching an actual Halo ring into low Earth orbit was a bold move (it must have been difficult to keep it secret), but it really helped set the tone for…
What’s that? You mean E3 is next week? Well, fuck it. E3 has never been an event to shy away from a bad idea, so we might as well keep going with ours. Here’s how we fared with the E3 2015 predictions we never made.
What we got right:
Let’s start with the big one. As expected, Nintendo has finally decided to join the rest of us in the 21st century, updating its online storefront to better integrate games and accounts across multiple platforms.
But that’s not what everyone is talking about. Reggie Fils-Aime brought the house down when he invited John Leguizamo onstage to announce that Super Mario Bros. 2: Bros. Harder is officially in production, taking Mario back to his dark and gritty roots and getting back to the true heart of the franchise. No word on who will take over for Bob Hoskins as Mario yet, but when Ricky Gervais gets the role just remember that we fucking called it.
Rumors about a big new EA crossover project leaked before the show, but I’m pretty sure we were the only ones to figure out the games in question were Sim City and Mirror’s Edge. In Sim Edge, Faith will have to use the in-game GPS to deliver mail while obeying all of the city’s traffic ordinances. Players will get an in-game ticket whenever they get caught jaywalking, and they won’t be able to play again until they pay off the full price of the ticket via microtransaction.
The story, other gameplay modes, and the X button will be made available as DLC.
In the wake of the popular Spider-Man deal, Sony’s decision to give Marvel complete creative control on the God of War franchise is hardly that surprising. True fans have long noted Kratos’ absence from the Marvel Cinematic Universe and this will allow both companies to rectify that mistake with the meeting between Loki and Kratos that everyone has been clamoring for.
We don’t know which popular storyline they’ll go with, but we’re rooting for the one where Kratos thinks Odin has a silly beard and then stabs Anthony Hopkins in the face.
Finally, The Last Guardian still isn’t coming out. I know we made some bold predictions, but we’re not completely stupid.
What We Got Wrong:
Naughty Dog has been talking about doing more in the world of The Last of Us for a while, but this was a prequel we definitely didn’t see coming. The First of Us takes fans back to where it all started, forcing players to navigate a hostile, unforgiving wilderness while trying to avoid those infected with an early version of smallpox in the year 40,000 BCE.
Fortunately, the plot still sounds pretty familiar. Players will have to fend off attacks from other groups of cavemen while protecting a young girl who may have the secret of fire hidden within her DNA.
We were skeptical about VR, but that was before we learned that the Oculus Rift could open actual Fade rifts thanks to a new licensing agreement with BioWare. Players will still need to have an Inquisitor in the party to close the rifts, but it’s evident that Virtual Reality is capable of more than we ever realized. We’re suddenly excited to see what other applications there are for the technology.
Modern Warfare 3 was the definitive expression of warfare in and around the present day, so we were absolutely floored by the reveal for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 4 and we couldn’t be more excited. We don’t know how Activision keeps coming up with such original material, but we’re glad they do because the industry would be pretty stale without them.
And last but not least, who could have possibly predicted such a sudden turnaround from Konami? Only months after locking its entire PR department inside a burning apartment complex, the company realized the error of its ways and re-launched P.T. with a newer, darker hallway and a bonus broom closet before announcing that Silent Hills is back on track and that Willem Dafoe and Sean Patrick Flanery have been added to the cast. Konami has also patched things up with Hideo Kojima and signed him to a lucrative contract that guarantees another twenty Metal Gear Solid games in exchange for a ball pit filled with squeezable Quiet action figures.
That’s before we get to the news that Konami has agreed to foot the entire $200M production bill for Guillermo Del Toro’s live-action adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s At the Mountains of Madness, salvaging a highly-anticipated project that many fans thought had been abandoned. It’s a stunning development, and it all points to an unexpectedly bright future at Konami.
So there you have it. That’s everything we got right and wrong about E3 2015, and we’re already confident about our predictions for E3 2016. Next year, maybe we’ll even pay attention to the conference.
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