The Dork Shelf Guide to Holiday Shopping: Day 2

Happy Cyber Monday! Or, Happy Whatever Day You Happen to Be Reading This On! Welcome to day two of the Dork Shelf Guide to Holiday Shopping, with more great ideas for the dorky dudes and ladydudes in your lives. Stay tuned for further holly, jolly gift options, or check out our previous entry in the guide here!

New Movies:

Film Title: Fast & Furious 6

Fast and Furious 6 (Extended Edition Blu-Ray, DVD, Digital Combo Pack)

Let’s put out of sight and out of mind the tragic (and admittedly tragically ironic) passing of Paul Walker this past week. Let’s remember the good times, and just how much darned fun this amazingly silly and off the wall action extravaganza from earlier this year was. I remember watching it so gleefully glued to my seat and pleasingly astonished by the lunkheded spectacle that I can’t wait to put it on in the background at a holiday party and marvel as people get caught up in all the silliness. It’s a must have for the action movie aficionado on your list. (Available wherever Blu-Rays are sold starting December 10th)


Older Movies:


Halloween: 35th Anniversary Edition (Blu-Ray)

For the horror buff on your Christmas list, it’s best to go back a few holidays for this immaculate looking 35th anniversary edition of John Carpenter’s groundbreaking masterpiece. With a gorgeous transfer overseen by original DP Dean Cundey, a new commentary track from John Carpenter and Jamie Lee Curtis, and two new featurettes looking back on the making of the original, there’s plenty to differentiate this new release from past re-issues. It’s never looked better, and for those who also like to have the infamous footage that was added to re-cut the television version of the film together, it’s here, as well. (Available wherever Blu-Rays are sold)

TV Box Set:


Breaking Bad Box Set

Breaking Bad: The Complete Series

IT COMES IN A BARREL, YOU GUYS. Now that I have gotten that out of my system, let me say that there’s no better time than your impending holiday break to start binging on one of TV’s most additive shows of the past decade. Featuring a plethora of never before seen special features ALL HOUSED IN A BARREL, YOU GUYS, this is a must have for fans of the show who previously only watched it on TV or Netflix or any wannabe Heisenbergs or Jessies. Although, we don’t recommend you fall into that second category. (Available wherever DVD and Blu-Ray box sets are sold)

Graphic Novel:

Marble Season

Marble Season by Gilbert Hernandez (Drawn and Quarterly)


One of the best graphic novel offerings of 2013, Love and Rockets creator Gilbert Hernandez’s semi-autobiographical look at a comic loving boy named Huey coming of age in a sleepy Southwestern US town in the 1960s is a joyous marvel of storytelling that says just as much about the art of the graphic novel format as it does about the story itself. A tale about holding onto a childhood sense of wonder as long as you can, Hernandez’s story isn’t always a happy one, but it’s imminently relatable in the same ways as Stand by Me or The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It taps into a primal love of popular culture that can make the real world palatable and wondrous for even a few brief moments. (Available mostly wherever graphic novels are sold)


Batman Death of the Family

Batman Volume 3: Death of the Family (DC)

I’m admittedly not one of the biggest Batman fans there is, or even a huge fan of DC in general. So to my own surprise, I was completely taken by this return of The Joker to the Batman universe (from issues 13-17, now available in a hardcover edition) that manages to be terrifying, thoughtful, very well drawn, and one of the best written story arcs of any comic in recent memory. It re-energized my interest in the character and was the only series I made time to read in a single sitting in a comic shop before even buying it. It’s that good. (Available mostly anywhere comics are sold)


Video Game:

Killzone Shadow Fall

Killzone: Shadow Fall (PS4)

It’s been said time and time again that launch titles for most video game consoles are generally spotty at best, but the latest entry in the Killzone franchise – while still a fairly standard shoot ‘em up in terms of storyline – offers a great deal of fun and some nifty innovation that makes it the best of the launch titles next to the incredibly specialized FIFA 14 (which is also great for you sports game nuts). Blending the occasional sandbox style with more tactical and stealth missions, Killzone keeps switching up the gameplay and difficulty for a visceral feel that most games of this kind (Call of Duty: Ghosts, I am looking right at you) can’t quite pull off. If you bought the hot, new system right out of the gate, but are bemoaning your lack of available gameplay options, this would be a decent place to start. (Available wherever video games are sold)

Tech Accessory:


Afterglow Universal Wireless Headset

Afterglow Universal Wireless Headset

For the gamer who uses them or for someone who needs a decent pair of headphones around the house to keep the noise down after hours, this top of the line and reasonably priced option should do the trick. With incredible range, great sound quality, and various ways of adjusting volume, the Afterglow Universal Wireless Headset is perfect for gaming communications or late night movie watching. (Available in many tech/gaming stores)

Regular Books:

Holidays on Ice

Holidays on Ice – David Sedaris

An oldie but a goodie, essayist and humourist David Sedaris’ collection of holiday recollections and tales should be trotted out every year with heavily boozed eggnog. The NPR broadcast “Santaland Diaries” (where Sedaris recounts his time spent as a department store elf) is something I wish more people did open readings of. The book’s two closers, “Based on a True Story” and “Christmas Means Giving” are also both minor masterpieces from one of America’s best writers. Now with even more stories! (Available wherever books are sold)


Women’s Apparel:

Suckers Apparel Captain Carol Leggings

Captain Carol Leggings by Sucker’s Apparel

Any member of the Carol Corps would be proud to wear these beautiful leggings hand-made by the gals at Suckers Apparel. Show your love for the most bad-ass Avenger, Captain Marvel, and rock these out any time of year! (Available through Sucker’s Apparel) (Sam Maggs)


General Apparel:

Smores USB Slippers

S’mores USB Heated Plush Slippers

I know what you’re thinking: “But Andy! S’mores are for summer!” And while I would agree with you, I would argue that (1) marshmallows in any form are timeless and (2) cold feet are definitely a winter problem. So what cuter way to solve both problems than with these USB charged heated slippers? (Available through ThinkGeek)

Specialty Gift

Christmas Vacation Moose Mugs

Christmas Vacation Moose Mug

Want to have “the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye”? Well, shell out for these moose mugs for your next holiday get together and just watch the conversation and movie quotes start flying around with the greatest of ease. (Available through RetroFestive)

Food and Drink:

The Tom Green Beer

The Tom Green Beer – Beau’s Brewing

“It’s the Tom Green Beer. It’s not the Green Tom Beer.” Or so sayeth the label, which also points out that this award winning collaboration brew between Ontario based Beau’s and the beloved bizarro stand-up and talk show host goes best with cheese sandwiches, sausages, and moose. But really, this chocolaty milk stout is a great beer for the end of a holiday meal. Sweet and earthy, it’s an accomplished beer, and one of the best things the comedian has put his name to. It’s a great for the beer lover in your life. (Available at select LCBO locations)