Ten Infected Valve Should Include in Left 4 Dead

Left 4 Dead 2 is a game which made me a pretty happy man.  There were lots of improvements, and despite a few steps backwards, overall it was a welcome addition to the shelf.  One particular aspect most people seem to enjoy is the new infected (playable zombie characters) which include: the Wandering Witch, the Charger, […]

10 Spore Creations That Would Make Great Movie Monsters

Until recently, I was always impressed with the diversity and ferocity of movie monsters.  Monster movies, action, horror – these genres spawned some pretty out-of-this-world and hungry creatures, including xenomorphs from Aliens, colossal crab-praying mantis’ from Cloverfield, and, of course, the giant St. Bernard from The Sandlot. Go back even further and you’ve got classics […]

10 Jobs For Master Chief Upon Retirement

Come on, Chief, quit playing Halo and go get a retiree job. 10. Master Chef: Besides the obvious benefits of being able to merely scratch out the i in his identification, after years of singeing and scorching aliens, I’m sure MC has a nose for quality when it comes to cooked meat.  And who wouldn’t […]

10 Things I’d Do With Samus’ Power Suit

Like, if I bought it or something.  Or found it in my garage. 10. Swing to work: No more long walks for me.   As long as I live in the shadow of condominiums, I could use my grapple beam like Spider-Man uses webslingers – that is, to hurtle through the city 50 feet up like […]

10 Reasons Link is Terrible Roommate

Link, We Need Some New Rules if We’re Going to Keep Living Together… 10. Using the hook shot to do everything is really annoying.  Just get up and get it.  Our apartment isn’t that big.  It takes you, like, ten minutes to get the fridge door open with that thing and then another five to […]

Castle Vacancy: Mario World 1-1

So What Other Castle is the Princess Actually in Anyway? 10. Lego Castle: And who wouldn’t? I mean, face it, Mario, your castle is diminutive and two-dimensional. If she hadn’t bolted, princess would be Princess Hunchback. Lego is 3-D, opposable hand-cups, and you get to choose any assortment of hats you want. Movin’ up! 9. […]

Top 10 Reasons the Original Quake Ruled

Our friend Joel over at local video game site Controller Punch! posted a list of the top 10 reasons the original Quake game ruled.  He sold me with the idea that Jesus would be a skilled Quake player. 6. General use of rusty nails as weapons. We’ve got disturbing games out there now like Manhunt […]