“Everybody Knows” features widow venom, demon semen, and ancient spider webs, but the true substance comes from the question of paternity. After all, lineage is kind of a big deal in Wynonna Earp considering the whole curse-affecting-the-members-of-the-Earp-clan thing, especially with all of the supernatural creatures walking about.
A Bitch Thing
Wynonna is onto Beth and Mercedes and knows that something just ain’t right with the two sisters. Mercedes’ bitchiness is not on the right level, and Wynonna can use her bitchy senses to see through the faceless façade — she just needs more time to figure it out. It seems Tucker is alive and well after taking lead to the shoulder back at the Homestead courtesy of Officer Haught. Wynonna and Dolls storm the — what I will say is a very enviable — house to find the two sisters playing at being “drugged” by their skid mark brother.
However badly Earp and Dolls want to find Tucker, it’s ten-fold for the two widows who wear the faces of others. The shrivelled head of the Stone Witch is torched in their hearth, but the real fire is in their bellies with the increasing urgency to find the third seal.
I’ll go out on a limb and try to guess this now; I bet my britches the season finale (three episodes from now) is going to conclude with a face-off (no pun intended) between the tyrannical Tucker and the widows over access to the final seal, which will be interrupted by Earp/Doc/Dolls/and possibly Jeremy if he isn’t tied up somewhere. All evil parties will be vanquished back to hell, but not before Wynonna bursts into labour and possibly someone like Doc or Dolls is seemingly mortally wounded. At least, that’s how I would do it, but you never really know with Wynonna Earp. They really do throw some curveballs.
“You’re such an asshole.” — Wynonna “Not So Great With Accepting Emotional Support” Earp
Speaking of curveballs, Doc’s been gearing up to take the lead on being a father to Wynonna’s unborn child. However, when meeting with the OBGYN (who Dolls and Doc ostensibly kidnap), the subject of genetic testing comes up. It seems like it should be simple enough to ask Doc for a sample of blood, but then the truth spills out. The assumption that everyone had (including Doc) about the paternal lineage of the child may not be accurate. The kid might not be a Holliday.
That is to say, where’s Maury Povich when you need him, huh?
However, it’s not just one child Doc has to worry about at present. There’s a weird boy who appears to work for some kind of hibernating Sheriff who stops Doc in the field to “mark him with fire.” As he prepares his guns, Waverly makes an oopsie when she tells him he might not be the father, making today a freaking mother for the guy.
Doc goes headquarters to re-up his arsenal and after an unsuccessful binding curse on the venom abstract, Dolls, Jeremy, and Doc are all linked together. Not only does this serve as a chance for our beloved Jeremy to offer up some comic relief, but when they’re not trying to flee a murderous ol’ timey phantom, Dolls and Doc finally get to talk about how they’re going to approach the whole Wynonna situation without punching each other to death.
28 Weeks Later
“You are so pretty and I like you so much.” — Nicole “Cute Drunk” Haught
Haught’s been charged with babysitting the mommy of the hour, and so as is typical for most pregnant women, they end up at a strip club. Wynonna spills the beans that it was a crazy binge drinking night at her alma mater gentlemen’s club that was the scene of some, well, seminal activity.
As Haught drinks for three, Wynonna has to figure out a way to get the hunk down at the end of the bar’s DNA material so she can get it tested to determine who the father really is. The plan is simple as pie, until we learn the man is actually a Revenant and HOLY FUCK.
Another WTF reaction comes from the three stooges, who are clung together by magic and in the phantom sheriff’s mind are essentially accomplices to Doc’s crime of slamming the Judge’s wife (twice). But in a fan girl moment, Dolls IDs the ghost government man as one Bass Reeves, the very first black US Marshall west of the Mississippi, who was responsible for arresting more than 3,000 felons. Dolls quotes his outranking of Reeves, and acquits Doc of his crimes, allowing the ancient Reeves to retire into the ether.
The ladies take a less diplomatic route, kidnapping the demon because they can’t let him tell the other Revenants she’s carrying a hybrid in her belly. Although the man is attractive enough, he’s kind of a dick, calling Wynonna a whore and the like, so when she sends the demon dude down to the depths of hell it’s not really that big of a deal.
Who’s Your Daddy?
“Keep flashing that smile and she’s gonna fall in love with ya.” — Jeremy
“I told you not to make this weird.” — Dolls
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t.” — Jeremy
“Guys, this is all weird.” — Me
Sometimes the “Previously On” segments can really give us viewers some hints as to where the show might be going. I was surprised this week to see a flashback featuring Bobo and Waverly wherein he says that she’s not even an Earp. At the time it seemed like a metaphorical suggestion rather than a biological fact, but given the paternal possibility (I am still not sold on this) of Wynonna’s demon/demon killer fetus it looks like Waverly might also be a Revenant love child. Bobo Del Ray’s perhaps? Or did their mother (who they rarely talk about) have a roll in the hay with a man with piercing red eyes?
Out On Ghost River
Jeremy Dearest – Really loving more Jeremy these past episodes, and I love that he is so into Doc, calling his hands “nimble and soft.”
Negative Sex Positive — Although I want to commend the show for suggesting that there’s nothing wrong with promiscuous sex, I have to fault them just a teeny bit for having yet another woman basically punished for having fun.