Bride Hard Review: Something Resembling An Action-Comedy

A talented cast.

A talented premise.

Undermined by an editor let off their leash, and a screenwriter mightily passionate about exposition…and only exposition.

Bride Hard is an attractive prospect. Many recognizable, bankable, genuinely funny comedic actors populate the film, which is unfortunately a misformed attempt at an action-comedy that pairs Bridesmaids’ interpersonal conflict and surprisingly filthy jokes with Spy slapstick and/or farce (you decide — so much of this is up to us).

Rebel Wilson stars as Sam, a talented if somewhat disorganized part of a small and elite spy team (think the Mission Impossible crew). Anna Camp (who co-starred in the Pitch Perfect movie series with Wilson) is Sam’s best friend who is about to get married. Wilson is the maid-of-honour, and in charge of the bachelorette, but she can never spare enough time for the role, as she’s busy saving the world and all. This is emblematic of their relationship as a whole, we are told (almost literally). If Wilson can’t show up for Camp, how will their friendship survive?

The cast of Bride Hard — The cast of *Bride Hard* | Courtesy of Magenta Light Studios

In an effort to make it up to Camp, Wilson tries to go above and beyond at the wedding itself. Unfortunately, there are terrorists determined to throw a wrench into things by taking the attendees hostage.

You can fill in the blanks of what happens next. And you’d have to.

Bridge moments do not exist here. There are skips, like scratches on a CD. The patchwork is noticeable. What do I mean by “bridge moments”? I mean the stuff that holds the big set pieces together. It may be boring. It may just be a support beam. But it’s there for a good reason. Sometimes we just have to see the characters traveling from A to B. Sometimes we should see a shot linger for five seconds instead of just one. I don’t have a better answer than: It’s a vibe thing. And the vibes are off.

The cast of Bride Hard | Courtesy of Magenta Light Studios — Rebel Wilson portraying Sam in *Bride Hard* | Courtesy of Magenta Light Studios

Somewhere, on some hundred-terabyte external harddrive, in some drawer, in the recesses of a home in the Hollywood Hills rented by a personal assistant, are the files available to re-edit this ill-fated project, patch back in the necessary bridge moments, and make the seams invisible.

Bride Hard squanders decent action setpieces and the occasional laugh-out-loud one-liner (“You two grew up in a… ‘neigh-bour-hood’…?”) by prioritizing brevity above all else.