Familiar Touch, the new drama from Sarah Friedland, is tender to the touch. Its subject is one that is sure to tug on heartstrings: Octogenarian Ruth (Kathleen Chalfant) suffers from serious memory problems. She must transition to life in an assisted living facility. H. Jon Benjamin (best known for voice acting), plays her son Steve. In an opening scene that lays out plainly how lost Ruth has become, she hits on her son, and doesn’t remember visiting–or even picking–the living facility at which she quickly finds herself.
Benjamin exudes the weight of the responsible son. His eyes are consistently wet and heavy, betraying the comfort he wishes to convey to his mother — who is more like a child now than a guardian. Her first night in the new room is unfamiliar and therefore uncomfortable. Gone not only are her physical possessions, but so are her furnished memories, important to have around to make a house feel like a home. No one likes a first night in a new place where there’s no end in sight to the stay, not even those we as a society deem over the hill of learning and living, apparently content to sit like ornaments that represent family history and semi-abstract wisdom.
Chalfant conveys these inconsistencies of Ruth’s reality masterfully. Her behaviour shifts awkwardly — on purpose — from a poised, self-possessed woman to that of a vacant, confused, sad “octogenarian.” In the latter mode, she emphasizes her age and its apparent betrayals. Ruth, here and there, experiences moments of true recognition: She knows she does not always know how she feels or how she comes across to others.
Self-awareness is prized, especially in North America, and lack of self-awareness can be perceived as ignorance. It’s importance to recognize that the person doesn’t bear the responsibility. However, Familiar Touch reflects the great sadness that comes with the realization that others’ concern for ignorance and self-awareness could be tied to their perception of one’s capacity to change. There’s an implicit admission that things have changed for Ruth — things have been lost, including her dignity.
All of these cyclical, insidious thoughts, detrimental to one’s sense of self, are on vivid, yet quiet display in Familiar Touch. However, there are plenty of expressions of love. Moving his mother to a home, both against her will and with her permission, is probably the toughest thing Steve has ever done. Ruth may feel like the move is a betrayal, but Steve understands it is the last opportunity for his mother to get the best care she can. From his perspective, based on everything he’s learned and what North American society tells us about the elderly, this is the kindest thing he can do.
Sarah Friedland’s Familiar Touch is a powerful reminder of the complexities of family and society. It is an on-going exploration of what independence looks like in old age.
