If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a psychological drama about a mother pushed to the edge, and then some.
Linda (Rose Byrne) needs help. She is a struggling therapist. She has a young daughter with a severe eating disorder who appears indifferent to the prospect of truly working towards bettering herself, and a husband (Christian Slater) who is distant, literally and emotionally.
One day, water begins pouring through their ceiling from the apartment above. Soon, the entire ceiling caves in, leaving a gaping hole open to the second floor. Linda and her daughter are forced to move in “temporarily” to a nearby motel during repairs. While nursing a worsening drinking problem, she meets motel neighbour, James (a charming A$SAP Rocky). In addition to being a therapist, Linda is a client of another therapist at her practice, played perfectly and without an ounce of his identifiable camp, by Conan O’Brien. Their scenes together are a work of art. O’Brien’s many muted expressions of discomfort as Byrne regales him with her inane, seemingly meaningless dreams, and avoids her very real problems, are a joy to behold.
Comparisons may well be made to landmark emotional films like A Woman Under the Influence, and perhaps even to more recent psychologically challenging films like Beau Is Afraid. Both are apt, but such comparisons don’t quite capture what incredible observations writer-director Mary Bronstein makes here. There are laughs, but for the most part If I Had Legs I’d Kick You puts its audience through the tension wringer. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself covering your eyes or mouth as certain scenes unfold.
The greatest trick If I Had Legs I’d Kick You pulls off is articulating the ineffable and intangible in-between moments that can make life feel at times both repetitive and special; tragic and comic. A select few scenes toe the line of magical realism, but what better way to capture Linda’s challenged mind, and specifically her warped perception of motherhood?
Rose Byrne delivers a career-defining disappearing act. It’s a worthy bid for a Best Actress nomination, and she puts in the work.
If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You is an exhausting, illuminating, terrifying, philosophical, and intensely authentic film about a desperate mother unlike any other.
