If this week’s True Blood had you thinking, ‘What the fuck?!‘ you aren’t alone. Ball seems to have dropped the ball this week with ‘Let’s Get Out of Here’. At least it wrapped up that ridiculous Baby Mikey plot. That’s over, right?
We left off with a badly wounded Sookie being carried off by her werewolf rescuer, Alcide, as Bill swoops in. Together they take Sookie home where Bill revives her with his blood. Eric is missing, but Bill says he’s got people looking. Alcide lashes out at Sookie for ‘getting involved with fangers’ and then takes off. Sookie thanks Bill for the blood and they part amicably.
Antonia brings her followers along with Eric (who is under her control) back to the Wiccan store to figure out their next move. Tara demands to know why she didn’t accept Bill’s offer of a peaceful reconciliation (because witches have a reputation for being reasonable). Antonia gleefully holds up a poster for the ‘Festival of Tolerance’ – a vampire/human event happening in Bon Temps the very next night. Antonia reveals her plan: take Eric to the event and show everyone ‘’what vampires are capable of and what we’re capable of doing to them.” Tara, Holly and some of the others don’t like the sound of that and try to leave, but Antonia traps them there. For someone so wary of supernaturals, it took Tara an awfully long time to figure out that Antonia is a crazy bitch – no?
Luna’s daughter Emma is still shaken up after her dad and Luna’s ex Marcus showed up. Sam insists on protecting them both and suggests that they all go camping together. Luna doesn’t want to teach Emma to run from her problems but Sam argues that “getting back to nature is the exact opposite of running away.” (Does he know how opposites work?)
Bill tells Nan Flanagan that they need to cancel the Festival of Tolerance to which she asks ‘What have you gone and fucked up now?’. Cut to them chained up in the dungeon. Nan doesn’t give a shit about witches and refuses to cancel the event because she doesn’t want to disappoint the news outlets. Extra security is fine – but the show must go on.
Hoyt wakes up after a night of drowning his sorrows in fried chicken and beer and starts packing up Jessica’s things into a box. Turns out being a vampire doesn’t make you instantly cooler – judging by Jessica’s Twilight books and Taylor Swift CDs. Suddenly Lafayette, who is still possessed by that weird, French ghost-lady, enters Hoyt’s house carrying baby Mikey, waving a gun and insisting it’s his… errrm… her house. Meanwhile, Arlene and Terry are freaking out over Mikey being gone and call Jason in to investigate. Andy’s too busy guzzling V to be of any help. Jason gets a call from Hoyt and they all head over to his house to get Mikey back and get some pants for Hoyt because Andy ‘doesn’t want to see that shit.’
Sookie is having a dream and it’s going to be a sexy one judging by the glamour shot lighting and her lack of clothing. Sure enough, Eric shows up at her door and they start going at it until Bill also drops in. ‘We need to talk.’ says Sookie. Talking? Yeah I bet you’ll be doing plenty of that. Sookie says that she’s in love with both of them – and why shouldn’t she be? She points out the double standard and says if she were a guy with two women, no one would care. An interesting feminist rant coming from someone who has spent the last three episodes flat on her back and/or being rescued. With that, they all start making out. Ohhhh yeah. Until she wakes up.
Jason and the Bellefleur’s show up at Hoyt’s house and a hopped up Andy breaks down the door. Mavis/Lafayette isn’t kidding around with that gun though and he chases them back outside. Andy starts tripping balls and Jason tries to talk him down but luckily Jesus arrives. Nurse to the rescue! Jesus can tell right away that Lafayette isn’t himself and informs him/her that Mikey is someone else’s baby. Turns out Mavis didn’t know she was dead an inhabiting some dude’s body. I think if I suddenly had a penis, I would notice right away. But that’s just me. Mavis starts freaking out but Jesus promises to help her.
Sam, Luna and Emma are off enjoying their camping trip, aka not running away. Emma muses that she hopes she becomes a shifter and not a werewolf when she grows up so that she can become a bunny and ‘pet herself’. You don’t need to be a shifter for that, but that’s a lesson for another day. Then it gets weirder when Sam transforms into a bunny for Emma to pet. Luna and Emma apparently don’t like to use the word ‘fat’ but what about ‘creepy’? Tommy stops by the bar looking for Sam but doesn’t find him. He does, however, run into Marcus who tells Tommy that Sam should stop by and see him that night.
Debbie breaks her clean streak and buys some V from a sketchy guy in an alley. I like user Debbie – she’s feisty. But instead of going to shoot up (or did she already?), Debbie goes to Sookie and tells her that since Alcide cares about her so much and she loves Alcide, she wants to help Sookie. Uh… okay?
Jesus uses his bruja magic to see into Mavis’ past life and figure out where her baby is buried – in the front yard. Wow, some mystery. Terry tells Lafayette that the whole ‘stealing his baby at gunpoint’ thing is just water under the bridge. What?! Terry is good-natured, but come the fuck on. Jason, Terry and Hoyt dig a hole in the backyard and find the baby’s remains alongside Mavis’. Jesus sends Mavis’ spirit back to where it belongs. Cries hugs and songs all around. LAME.
Marcus and Alcide are shooting the shit, wearing tight shirts and drinking beers in a garage – you know, man stuff. Alcide says he’s willing to cooperate with Marcus and do whatever he needs, for Debbie’s sake. Marcus recruits him to help him beat up Sam and Alcide, being a man of his words, agrees.
Sookie has Debbie go to the store and distract Antonia while she snoops around inside. Just when she finds Eric, she’s found by a gun-wielding Tara. Luckily Tara has come to her senses and tells Sookie to find Bill at the Dorchester Hotel. Sookie and Debbie escape, but Antonia still intends to put her plan into action. She gathers her now unwilling helpers, along with Eric and heads for the Festival of Tolerance.
While Sam and Luna are busy getting it on in a tent, Tommy changes into Sam and shows up at Marcus’ garage to face his wrath. Marcus and his friends beat the crap out of Tommy and after he changes back, they realize it’s not Sam.
Hoyt asks Jason to deliver the box filled with Jessica’s stuff. He warily agrees and gives her more than a box of stuff. Bow-chick-wow-wow. In the back of a truck. You gotta love the country!
Over at the Dorchester, the festivities are in full-swig and under heavy security. Bill is nervously vigilant and wants to know where all the vampire are. “It’s like having a civil rights protest without any black people.” Eric and Antonia sneak in the back and she casts a spell on even more vampires. Just as Bill gets the microphone, Sookie shows up and so does Antonia. Shit’s about to get real. Hopefully.
See you next week!