“That’s real cool, right?” If a film starts with that question, the answer is usually “no.” The in many ways crappy creature feature Scared Shitless is no exception. In fact, the horror comedy feels tediously long despite its 76 minute running time. It’s so void of quality and full of unremarkable aspects, that an Estonian review could look like this: Junn jahe, vä? – Ei. [“Pretty cool, right? No.] But first, this is not an Estonian film and second, Leonard Maltin did this ultrashort review already.
The story, for one, is full of shit. The whole text could be splattered with similar epithets but that joke was never particularly original or funny to begin with (admittedly, it is also hard to resist using it completely). The same goes for the jokes in Brandon Cohen’s basic screenplay that follows proficient plumber Don (Steven Ogg) and his germaphobic grown son Sonny (Daniel Doheny) on their night shift in an apartment with lots of clogged toilets.
The culprit is a generic worm-like monster, created by mad scientist Dr. Robert (Mark McKinney) who ends up being one of its first snacks. Several more will follow, among them an elderly kinky couple and chatty Mrs. Applebaum (Marcia Bennett) who called the good guys. They’re aided by clerk Patricia (Chelsea Clark), Sonny’s obligatory love interest, who is there to prove that the predictable plot is actually pretty tame and infantile with its lack of decent gore, gruesomeness, and gags. If it wasn’t for a handful of unconvincing props like a a pair of ripped-off genitals, the whole could run in a festival’s kid’s section. Just flush it down the drain (that was the last one, promise).
Scared Shitless premiered at the 2024 Tallin Black Nights Film Festival.
